When I saw this quote, I remembered an experience that brought significant healing to my life and thought it was worthy of sharing.
I was ready to go to bed but I wasn’t sleepy so I decided to surf Facebook and that's when I saw the quote. “Love is not finding someone to live with. It’s finding someone you can’t live without.” The minute I read it I had this moment where my chest hurt. You know what I’m talking about? The one where you see something and it triggers a memory of something that painfully hurt you? Like that one song, or that place or even that smell!
Here is the interesting thing, I thought I had dealt with those emotions but the fact that it caused me pain again told me that there was still something that was not healed. As I pondered on the hurt and the words, it was clear to me that I needed to discuss it with the person but how was I going to approach the subject?
Few days later, I had the opportunity to have a conversation with the person and this time their words were more like “do you feel what I’m feeling for you?” and I couldn’t hold it together I wanted to cry. As a matter of fact, I walked out. As I took few minutes to compose myself, I wanted to run away and thought—no, you are going to address this.
It took all the courage and strength that I had to walk back into the space. I said; I’m sorry I walked out but an old wound opened up again about something you said in the past and I want to share it with you. When you asked me “if I felt the same way you were feeling?” the only thing I could think about where those painful words when you said that “I wasn’t the person you couldn’t live without.” I know that was few years ago but it recently surfaced in my heart again and we never had a chance to clarify it. Can I share what’s in my heart that’s causing me pain?
What I learned from that experience? I learned that regardless of how the words were said, by sharing how I felt without putting the blame on others, I allowed the person to know my hurt and I opened the door for them to take responsibility for their words but more importantly I honored myself but not hiding from my emotions and by having the courage and integrity to discuss it in a non-judgmental way.
What old wound is hiding in the dark dungeons of your heart that you haven’t dealt with? Are you willing to open the door in love and allow healing to come? When was the last time that you had the courage and strength to face your hurts? Healing is a journey worth taking, don’t let the pain stop you from honoring yourself!
Fearless Frances
Comments